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The Fourth of July
The Importance of Family Traditions
By Cynthia Boman Thompson
Strong family rituals and traditions are the driving philosophy of Dr. Kathy Masarie, pediatrician, founder of the Family Empowerment Network (family-empower.com) and creator of the guidebooks Raising Our Daughters and Raising Our Sons. “Children especially thrive on predictability and repetition,” she emphasizes. Traditions, by their very nature, are designed to be just that – predictable and repetitive. The Fourth of July is an excellent venue to help you establish traditions that convey your family’s beliefs and provide a sense of belonging to enrich your child’s life. These Independence Day traditions also build community spirit as we celebrate the birth of our country and our freedoms.
Establishing Family Traditions
The Fourth of July is a great time to establish family traditions explains Masarie. “It’s fun!” she says. Masarie encourages families to make the most of celebrating together and to share this time with extended family, friends or neighbors that day. In her neighborhood, the residents started a wonderful Fourth of July tradition many years ago. They have gathered together on numerous Independence Days to watch the children decorate their bicycles, tricycles, wagons and more in red, white and blue. The entire group then parades down the street to the lively sounds of patriotic music. This is followed by a full potluck meal at her home. Each guest brings their own utensils and paper products along with an item to grill and a dish to share. Since each family is bringing what they need, the celebration can grow to any size without adding any stress.
How do we create lasting family traditions? A key ingredient of a lasting tradition is that it “is adaptable and fluid,” according to Masarie. This means that while the elements of each year may be slightly different depending on the age of your children, there is always an expectation that the family will share that time together with a fairly predictable, repetitive routine.
She also points out that with our lives being so structured nowadays, the Fourth of July also presents a great opportunity for “a free-for-all where the kids just kind of run around – being wild in the community.” In other words, let freedom reign!
Creating Community
When hosting a neighborhood block party for the Fourth of July, “the big motivator is to build community,” explains Masarie. One of the most important benefits is that “our children are getting to know their neighbors,” she says. Due to more complex family schedules, this can often be challenging so making this effort to connect with neighbors at a block party can be invaluable. Masarie emphasizes that “it’s just so critical for safety reasons if for nothing else.”
It also helps create accountability. People are more likely to watch for and report destructive behavior to parents if there is a community connection. “It’s the simple difference of knowing a name,” says Masarie. If a child causes a problem, then he or she is much more likely to be held accountable and hopefully this will thwart the behavior from becoming a habit.
Building a community connection is a way of creating an extended family for your children and providing the opportunity for communal parenting. In Masarie’s books, Raising Our Daughters and Raising Our Sons, she provides a comprehensive template for facilitating your own parenting group so that parents can come together for support and to discuss raising their children. You can create a proverbial ‘village raising the child’ so that your child has other caring adults in their life. What a valuable gift to give your child – a sense of belonging and to know that my community cares about me.
Bridging Forward to the Teen Years
Establishing traditions also helps plant the seeds for a closer connection during your child’s teenage years. While your teen may resist new things that are introduced during the teenage years, he or she will usually value traditions started in younger years and automatically continue to participate.
One of the reasons that Masarie believes their neighborhood tradition was well attended by her children in their teenage years was that from the beginning “My kids could invite as many kids as they wanted.” With the kids being able to bring their friends, it was a great way to connect with her children’s friends and to continue the tradition as a family. It also created the adaptability for the event to develop as the children grew and still meet their needs.
While it’s easier to start new traditions when children are younger, Masarie reminds us “It’s never too late for establishing traditions.” You can initiate a new tradition at any age. So, regardless of the type of tradition you choose to establish on the Fourth of July, it’s always important to focus on the most precious gift you will give them—the knowledge that they were cherished and loved by a family and a community.
