Family Travel
Have Kids, Will Travel
by Emily Puro
Traveling can be one of the most rewarding experiences a parent and child will ever share. It can also be one of the most stressful. From navigating crowded airports with heaps of luggage and tired kids to surviving hour upon hour of “togetherness” on a road trip, there’s no doubt that some parents approach family travel with a bit of trepidation. But most of us have found, through travel with our children and memories of travel with our own parents, that the benefits far outweigh the hassles – almost every time.
“I’ve learned that the rewards and memories of traveling with my children are worth every inconvenience,” says Marybeth Bond, author of Gutsy Mamas: Travel Tips and Wisdom for Mothers on the Road and the mother of two daughters, now 16 and 19. “Together we make more friends, we feed off each others’ energy and adventurous spirits, we come together as a family and we come back closer than we left.”
Each age brings different opportunities and challenges, but there are a few general tips that will make every family trip more enjoyable:
- Don’t schedule too much.
- Don’t pack too much.
- Don’t stress too much – about bedtime, naptime or the occasional junk food meal. Be flexible!
- Don’t forget anyone. Try to plan activities the entire family will enjoy.
Read on for travel tips specific to each age and stage.
The Early Years (2 and Under)
Flying the (Family) Friendly Skies
When Sandy Nipper, RN, asked the parents in the Baby and Me groups she leads at Legacy Emanuel Hospital to share their tips for flying with babies and toddlers, she knew they’d have plenty to offer. As Nipper says, “Air travel with babies is a very dramatic experience.” (Or did she say traumatic?) Much depends on your baby’s mood and temperament – and the moods and temperaments of your flight crew and fellow passengers – but with the tricks and tips below you’ll be well on your way to the smoothest flight experience possible.
No Pain, Much Gain: To minimize your baby’s discomfort from changes in cabin pressure, most doctors recommend feeding your child during takeoff and landing. Southeast Portland mom Amber Wagner has another trick: Lollipops. The sucking helps relieve ear pressure, and it’s such a big treat for most toddlers that it takes their minds off any discomfort.
Parent as Pack Mule: Nearly every parent who’s flown with a baby knows that essential carry-on luggage includes a well-stocked bag of tricks. A few parents in Nipper’s groups suggested wrapping several small, inexpensive toys to give your child throughout the flight. Bring a change of clothes for yourself as well as your baby, they added, in case of spit up, diaper leaks or other spills.
“One family brings a big box of earplugs to offer everyone sitting around them,” says Nipper. “They’re rarely accepted but have a magical way of creating goodwill.”
If you’re going to bring a stroller, an umbrella stroller is the best option for the airport. You can easily fold it to go through security and you can check it at the gate upon boarding. Remember that many family-friendly destinations rent strollers, too.
Booking Your Flight: With airfares so expensive, most parents waver between buying a seat for their baby, holding him on their laps, or hoping an empty seat will be available when they board. Here are a few things to consider when making the choice:
- Many parents and experts believe it’s safest for a baby or toddler to be secured in a car seat in case of emergency or heavy turbulence. (Note: Booster seats are not approved for use on airplanes.)
- Most parents are more comfortable if they can put the baby down once in a while, although it’s less troublesome on a short flight than a cross-country trek.
- Some mothers find it more comfortable to breastfeed without someone sitting in the adjacent seat.
- If you don’t mind traveling at odd hours, less popular flights are more likely to have empty seats. The flight crew might be able to rearrange passengers to accommodate your baby.
If you’re traveling alone and booking a seat for your baby, one mom in Nipper’s group suggested booking a window and an aisle seat. The middle seat is the most likely to remain empty, and if someone is seated there, they’ll be happy to move to your aisle seat or another row. Whether or not you buy a seat for your baby, several parents suggested booking seats toward the back of the plane. You’ll be closer to the restrooms and the flight attendants (make friends with them!) and the noise at the back of the plane might lull your baby to sleep.
Early Boarding and Layovers: If you’re traveling alone with your baby, early boarding can be helpful. Otherwise, send one adult ahead to install the car seat and stow your bags. The other can board just before takeoff to minimize your little one’s time onboard. “If your child is crawling or walking and you have a choice between a nonstop and two shorter flights,” adds Nipper, “go with the two flights so the baby can run around during the layover.”
Ask For Help: “Be your own best advocate,” adds Nipper. Ask questions. Ask for help. “A lot of experienced airport and airline staff know that the happier the family and baby are,” she says, “the happier they and all the other passengers will be.” When traveling alone with your baby, advises one member of Nipper’s group, “Scope out healthy looking grandparents who look like they’d just love to help you.”
Resources: For advice about going through airport security with your baby, visit www.tsa.dhs.gov/travelers/airtravel/children/.
For information about child safety during air travel, particularly related to car seats, download www.faa.gov/passengers/media/childsafety.pdf. You can have your car seat inspected and find out if it’s approved for air travel by attending a free car safety event. Dates and locations are listed at www.childsafetyseat.org. (A large check-up event is planned in conjunction with the Healthy Kids’ Fair at Legacy Emanuel on March 22 from 10 am to 2 pm. See our Family Calendar for additional information.)
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The Preschool Period (Ages 3 to 5)
A Home Away From Home
If you think the days of lugging loads of gear end with the toddler period, think again. You might not need to bring a diaper bag for your preschooler (although many of us still do!), but you will still need to think about entertainment, and that typically means plenty of books, toys, stuffed animals and more.
That’s one reason Marybeth Bond, author of Gutsy Mamas: Travel Tips and Wisdom for Mothers on the Road, recommends a “hub and wheel” approach to vacationing with preschoolers. Rent a house at the beach, in the mountains, on a lake or in the big city, then venture out for day trips as you please. Not only will you avoid repeatedly packing, unpacking and hauling your gear from place to place, your kids will be more comfortable if they get familiar in their new digs and you’ll all avoid the stress of constant change.
“For us, the big thing is food,” says southeast Portland mom Amber Wagner of renting vacation houses with her family. “Even if we eat out at dinner, we always bring breakfast and lunch because the kids are up at the crack at dawn wanting cereal. That saves so much on cost, too.”
Wagner and her husband rented houses at the Oregon Coast three times when their two older children, now 5 and 7, were preschoolers. “We’ve stayed in a hotel a couple times,” she recalls, “but we were just all over each other. There’s no room to do anything.” At the vacation houses, the kids were excited to choose their rooms upon arrival and they slept better, especially when they were younger, if they didn’t have to share a room.
Many vacation rentals provide board games, books, DVDs and other family entertainment supplies as well as kitchenware, household appliances and sometimes even staples such as flour, sugar and condiments. For Wagner, though, the most convenient vacation rental amenity is the washing machine! Doing laundry might not rank high on your list of exciting vacation activities, but having the option can save a lot of stress – and you can pack less, too.
The “hub and wheel” approach doesn’t apply only to nearby locations like the Oregon Coast. Wagner and her kids rented an apartment in Scotland for three weeks when they visited family there a few years ago, and Bond has traveled extensively with her children in rented RVs.
While you don’t get as much space in an RV as you do in a rental house, you get many of the same amenities. “When the kids got hungry and needed a snack, there it was,” says Bond. “We were comfortable and it was so easy because we weren’t packing and unpacking.” They stayed in campgrounds most nights so the kids could run around and meet other children, too.
It’s not necessary to rent an RV from home and spend your entire vacation driving, adds Bond. She and her family rented an RV in Salt Lake City for a drive through the Grand Tetons and Glacier National Park, in Calgary for a trip through the Canadian Rockies, and in Phoenix for a journey through the Grand Canyon and other southwestern sites.
Even beyond the money you can save by cooking your own meals, adds Wagner, vacation rentals can be a lot less costly than hotels. Add to that the convenience and comfort your family will enjoy and creating a home away from home can turn your next family vacation into the relaxing respite you deserve!
For information on vacation rentals, google “vacation rental” and your destination.
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Elementary Concerns (ages 6 to 10)
So Much to See, So Much to Learn
Travel is among the most educational activities you can share with your children, whether you’re visiting a historic site, using a map to find the perfect beach or calculating how much money each child has left for souvenirs. With school-age children, who typically approach new discoveries with eagerness and enthusiasm, you have the ideal age for educationally enriched travel.
After her husband began working for an airline, Jillene Lewis started traveling frequently with her daughters, now 8 and 11. “Because they miss school for a number of trips,” says Lewis, a former Lake Oswego mom now living near Seattle, “we make an effort to make the trips educational, from simple things like navigating with maps and landmarks to visiting places that are rich with learning opportunities.” At the suggestion of their teachers, Lewis’s daughters also keep journals on every trip they take. When they return to school, they share their journals, maps and souvenirs in class.
Planning vacations is a great way to get a head start on learning and give kids some control over their travels. “When we went to Boston, we went online to research all the things you could do there,” says Lewis. “We talked to people who’d been to Boston or lived in Boston, then we let the girls choose what they thought would be most interesting.” With so much to do and see, they avoided typical attractions such as aquariums and opted for sights they could see only in Boston.
Taking advantage of guidebooks, brochures and other written materials can help deepen your family’s understanding of the areas you visit. “I always like looking for historical landmarks along the way,” says Diane Flynn Keith, author of Carschooling: Over 350 Entertaining Games & Activities to Turn Travel Time into Learning Time (Three Rivers Press, 2002). Keith recommends stopping to read the markers and, using paper and crayons, making a rubbing of those that especially interest your kids. She also suggests investing in audiotapes that describe the history, geography and/or culture of the areas through which you travel, especially on car trips. (Check out www.autotapetours.com, or call the Chamber of Commerce for the city you plan to visit.) “It’s sort of like having a tour guide right there in your car,” she says.
AAA offers a variety of materials members can pick up or have mailed for free, and many of the tools, maps and guides are now available online for the general public. You can plan a road trip and print out maps of your route or use one of their pre-planned trips focusing on a specific region. (Visit www.aaaorid.com/travel/travel_drive_planning.asp for more information). Visitors’ centers are also great resources for local listings including events that might be happening during your visit.
Lewis and her family find educational attractions on every trip, many of them free. “Almost every city has an old town,” she says. “San Diego has a really cool old town where they have people walking around in period costume. They give tours and it’s all free.” Your OMSI membership card will gain you free admission to science centers around the country and around the world, and don’t forget art museums. Many offer special programs and activities for families, or you can create your own. “Start your museum visit in the gift shop,” says travel expert and mother of two Marybeth Bond. “Let them look at all the postcards and buy four or five, then make it a treasure hunt to go and look for those paintings.”
Finally, never underestimate the power of a good travel game. Whether you focus on old standards such as the alphabet game, geography or license plate hunts, or explore the many diverse games and activities in books such as Keith’s, travel games are an excellent way to pass the hours, share some good old-fashioned family time, and sneak in a little academic enrichment all at the same time.
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The Middle Ages (ages 11 to 14 … and beyond)
Exploring the World
If you love traveling, you’ve probably dreamed of taking your children overseas to explore the world together. But what’s the best age for an overseas adventure, and how can you ensure your fantasy vacation doesn’t collapse into an expensive, extended family squabble?
”I’ve taken my kids to Europe many times,” says Marybeth Bond, author of Gutsy Mamas: Travel Tips and Wisdom for Mothers on the Road, “but I don’t think it really caught on with the younger ones. I’d say the ideal time is from about 9 to 14.” After that, she says, kids can be less enthusiastic about traveling with their parents, although she still enjoys traveling with her daughters, now 16 and 19.
Northwest Portland mom Cindy Hudson and her husband took their daughters to Europe when they were 9 and 12 and again four years later. With some thoughtful planning, sensitivity and flexibility, they turned their European vacations – four weeks in France and England and three weeks in Italy – into wonderful adventures the whole family will remember for years to come.
“We planned to stay in apartments or farm houses as opposed to hotels,” says Hudson, “any place that had a kitchen and things to do for the kids.” In rural France and Italy they rented self-contained apartments on working farms (most with swimming pools!) where the girls could safely roam the grounds on their own, relax by the pool and play with the animals. “We weren’t always right on top of each other” Hudson recalls. “Being able to cook our own meals, have snacks in the fridge or just come home and relax and hang out in different parts of the house made a big difference.”
Hudson and her husband were careful to plan relatively short days, minimal driving times and activities the whole family could enjoy – with an emphasis on active. Kayaking down a river in southwest France was among the girls’ favorite activities, and the parents enjoyed it, too. ”We kayaked past castles and these prehistoric caves that you couldn’t see from the road,” says Hudson. “It was a very interesting perspective.”
While their younger daughter was most enthusiastic about physical activities, their older daughter appreciated seeing the things she’d studied in her Western Civilization course come to life. “When she spotted Fra Angelico’s famous Annunciation fresco,” Hudson recalls, “she kept repeating, ‘Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m seeing the Annunciation by Fra Angelico!’”
Before traveling to a foreign country, advises Bond, help your children feel familiar with the destination by reading books, watching videos and perusing brochures. “If you’re going to France,” she says, “take them to a French restaurant and let them see a menu in French.” Both Bond and Hudson recommend watching travel videos, including the Rick Steves series, before your trip. (You can borrow many from the library.)
Hudson and her family also watched feature films set in Italy before their most recent trip. “We saw old ones and new ones,” she says, “Roman Holiday, The Agony and the Ecstasy, The Lizzy McGuire Movie, The Italian Job.” When they got to Rome, both daughters were eager to see the Boca de la Verita sculpture featured in Roman Holiday. The family also pored over guidebooks, many focused on activities for children and families.
Even less intrepid families can experience the world together, adds Gordon Spath, supervisor of the AAA travel agency in Clackamas. Many travel companies offer tours specifically for families, some even designed for grandparents traveling with children. (Tauck is among the largest companies offering family-friendly tours: www.tauck.com.) These tours offer “some activities for everybody together and some that appeal more to children,” says Spath. In Paris, for example, you might find an adult-focused tour of the Louvre and an art-themed scavenger hunt for kids.
Whether you do it on your own or as part of a tour, traveling overseas with your children can be the experience of a lifetime. “I know it’s been good for our relationship,” says Hudson. “The trips themselves were lots of fun and references come up even now to things we’ve seen or done, so we have those shared memories.”
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Family Travel Books
Gutsy Mamas: Travel Tips and Wisdom for Mothers on the Road by Marybeth Bond (Travelers’ Tales, 2000). Check out Marybeth’s tips at www.womentraveltips.com and www.gutsytraveler.com.
Fodor’s Family Adventures by Christine Loomis (Fodor’s, 2002)
Frommer’s 500 Places to Take Your Kids Before They Grow Up by Holly Hughes (Frommer’s, 2006)
A Kid, A Grown Up and A Travel Bug: A You-Can-Do-It Travel Guide for one-on-one getaways with your child by Janice Davis (BookSurge Publishing, 2006)
Emily Puro is a Portland freelance writer and mom.
