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A Valentine’s Day Guide for Guys
What Women REALLY Want on Feb. 14
Red roses? Check.
Romantic dinner? Check.
Jewelry, candy and mushy greeting card? Check, check and check.
That’s what Valentine’s Day looks like for many women – a combination of stuff that our husbands rush out and buy because the calendar says so. And, all of those things are certainly nice. Once a woman becomes a mom, though, those trophies don’t seem nearly as important. We’re too busy trying to find a matching pair of socks, a rogue pacifier or a new ‘n’ exciting way to make chicken, again. We also realize roses are a waste of money, candy has to be shared with the kids and a fancy dinner out requires a baby-sitter who charges a small fortune.
So, what’s a husband to do this Valentine’s Day? Cancel the obligatory trip to Victoria’s Secret? Forgo the heart-shaped box of chocolate? Guys, you can buy that stuff for us if you feel like it, but that’s not what we want. Not really.
So, what do women want, exactly? This age-old question has puzzled men since the beginning of time. Movies have been made about it, books have been written on the subject and, still, the question remains. Well, here’s the answer: women want a nap and a clean house.
Seriously. It’s that simple. You think we’re complicated creatures, but often our happiness boils down to those very two things. We’re exhausted and we’re worried about the nosy neighbor telling everyone that our living room walls are covered in crayon. In a perfect world, we’d also settle for a flat stomach, some bathroom privacy to shave both legs and a full night’s sleep. But, let’s start with the nap and the housework:
If you want to put a woman in the mood, tell her – in great detail – how you cleaned out the fridge. Let her know about all the moldy fruit you threw out, the brown gunk under the butter dish and the mystery leftovers. Tell her that you took care of it. Women want men to take care of things. The toilet’s leaking? The car’s making a weird noise? You son is failing history? Whatever it is, tell her that you took care of it. That’s better than lingerie or jewelry any day.
As for a sappy card, nothing Hallmark could write is sexier than a note that reads, “Don’t worry. The laundry is already folded and put away.” Those 10 words are guaranteed to elicit a contented sigh and major bonus points.
In other words, the best gifts of all won’t cost you a penny. Dads, take the kids out of the house for two hours so your wife can have an uninterrupted nap. Even if she can’t sleep, she’ll still enjoy the time alone to read an entire magazine article, watch a chick flick in peace or take a bubble bath – where she can shave both those legs.
What else? Every woman dreams of coming home from work, putting her feet up and admiring a dining room table that’s free of backpacks, bills and science projects. Trust me, a clean dining room table is a status symbol among moms. What’s our idea of steamy? A dishwasher full of clean glasses. Then, we can fix a drink and get back to admiring that spotless dining room table.
Ah, peace of mind. That’s what women want.
(Moms, just to get your point across, you might want to leave a copy of this article underneath the remote control so your husband is sure to see it. Happy Valentine’s Day.)
Anna Seip is an editor, writer, mom and wife.
